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JimmyBond8
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Name: Chris
Birthday: 4/27/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: I've become fascinated with photography.Occasionally I write some poetry.I also enjoy graphic design.Music is my driving passion. And also my favorite hobbie.I would be a lithographer, if I could afford it.Mostly I like art of all forms and types.
Expertise: Web Design/Graphic Design/GIS Mapping
Occupation: G.I.S. Coordinator
Industry: Emergency Communications (911)
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/13/2003
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| Nothing like being in the midst of something, totally engrossed, totally focused, and not thinking about anything else in the world.... when suddenly something from the past shows up out of nowhere and knocks you flat on your butt. Kinda like those Stride Gum commercials. It just sneaks out of the shadows and ninja's you right in the guts. Thanks past mistakes!
I've been spending a good deal of time observing people around me. I've always been fantastic at watching and listening. Its action that's always been my weak spot. A day late, 5 bucks short, shoulda, coulda, woulda. I see how they deal with things; how they get knocked down and then get back up. Some in a week, some in a month, some the next evening. They just put things away, and get back to business as usual. I don't understand it. I don't know how that works. How do you just put away things that mean something? How do you just forgive yourself for your mistakes, then go and make them again? Is tripping in the same hole over and over really any different from finding totally different holes to fall in?
They say that 'You are your own worst critic'; and I know that's true. But really, can you learn from one mistake while taking part in another? Is that the answer? Lose yourself in something else till the pain subsides; while making someone else the bandaid to be tossed out when the wound heals? Or is it this sabbatical time alone that is a mistake? Is spending time with my own worst critic making sure I understand the mistakes actually a mistake? I don't know. I don't have answers. There are only questions. Questions with more questions and even smaller questions attached. Stare a little closer and you'll see tiny leaf questions hanging from those questions. A microcosm of questions. Just like everyone else in this world has. Except maybe for opossums. However, they get hit by speeding cars; so I'm not entirely sure they have it figured out either. Maybe they're just smart enough not to ask questions.
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| Inspired by Knox's title, I thought I'd do my rambling about 'Once upon a time'. It is indeed a place where stories start. But I feel like its really more than that. If you just started with that and then told about a bunch of random everyday events, it certainly wouldn't make for a very interesting story. "Once upon a time, a girl did housework and then went to bed. The End." Sure, that's technically a story. But not a story that anyone would want to read anytime soon. Unless the details of that housework were so amazing they warranted a telling in the first place.
I think a more fitting title would be, "Once upon a time, everything changed." Things were one way, then they became another; and now something story worthy is happening. It doesn't have to be a bad change, though it often is. It doesn't even have to be a good change; its the basis of the change that makes the story noteworthy. Lets face it, regardless how we personally feel about change, its integral to a story. No one would have been interested in watching 10 seasons of 'Friends' without something changing. All those people living next door to each other for 10 years, no major life changes.... boring!
Relationships are the same way too I suppose. 'Once upon a time' they begin, things go fine and things are wonderful or comfortable. Then 'Once upon a time' they fall apart. With a few words or events, another story has an ending. One more book for a shelf. Maybe its one you want to read to be reminded. Maybe its one you never want to see and so you hide it in the back so it won't surface anytime soon. But still its an inevitable. Every 'Once upon a time' requires an end. Stories have an ending. All things that start must stop.
I did something yesterday I haven't done in over a year. I'm not going to say what it was, though its not something secretive or in need of all this deception. Its something you typically would only do once a year and this is certainly the season for it *hint hint*. But it felt very foreign. Like that first time you go to a family vacation spot without your family; its familiar, but feels so entirely different. A year ago circumstances were different. I was different. But things have changed. Once upon a time....
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| Ok, I'm probly not any of those. Besides, I can generally only pick out the bad things that are going to happen as they happen. I know this, because that's exactly what I've managed to do in the past. Many, many times.
Today, my auspex again came to be true. A prediction I made a long time ago came true. And well... It sucks. Those bad events happen in your life, and you think things that you shouldn't. After you get past those mad moments you think, "I really hope that doesn't happen." Then you watch in horror as they come to fruition in vivid frightening color right before your very eyes. Makes me think of Star Wars: A New Hope. Feeling like Leia on the Death Star watching her home planet get blasted to bits because of her decisions (Oh the nerdy-ness of my example). Its that crushing weight. *bleh*
Hopefully, someone else recalls the hundreds of times we were told as kids about 'Saying you're sorry' and 'Admitting you were wrong' and 'Everyone gets a second chances'. Those all may be true when you're 7 and Santa Claus still brings you presents and eats your little dutch butter cookies. But in adult land, they just don't seem to be applicable any more. There are lots of times where second chances don't happen, nor do first chances. And admitting your mistakes and saying you're sorry won't undo whatever it is you did wrong. From domestic abuse, all the way down to forgetting a birthday.
We're all guilty of it. We let some things slide, and then crucify someone else for the same indiscretion. I guess it just comes back to we're all sinners and we're all unable to view things in the correct way; without malice and a twisted sense of justice. But it's unfortunate, and I don't like it. I'm guilty of it, but still I don't like it.
In times likes this I think of one of my favorite monologues from Castaway. I've probly posted it here before, and I'll continue to post it because I really like it. So I leave you wit this:
I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring? ~ Chuck Nolan (Castaway)
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| .... It's such a blast when ya bring up the past.
I encourage all who come across this to head over and listen to the album 'Aim & Ignite' from Fun. You can listen to it's musical goodness over at Paste or on the Myspaces.
For those unfamiliar, Fun is a band started by Nate Ruess (frontman for now defunct The Format), Andrew Dost (of Anathallo) & Jack Antonoff (of Steel Train). Their music is a very indie eclectic mix of a lot of older 60's & 70's bands, as well as some more modern indie alternative sounds. Its heavy with harmony and organ sounds and all sorts of amazing musical awesomeness. The album's tangible/down-loadable release is tomorrow, and to quote something else amazing, "It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."
I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of another nephew (really a cousin, but since I'll never have true nephews). I suppose I'm saying that hastily, as no one knows the official sex of the baby. So I guess it could technically be a niece. Either way, I'm excited. Other peoples kids are cute & exciting (all the fun, none of the responsibility). I'll be certain to have some great pictures up somewhere of the lil-booger when he/she arrives.
There's a little less than a month left to the 'official' end of Summer. And looking back, it's not been a bad summer. Certainly, it hasn't been exactly as I'd hoped it would be. I've not been in a great mindset for most of it (or Spring either). But all in all, things have gone mostly good. I've accomplished a lot of stuff and Got to check another state off my list (Over half way!). I also found out I have a ton of vacation, so I may try and plan something nice for myself this fall. Maybe I'll add another state or 2, who knows.
Final note, Stereogum has a great song up from Weezer I highly recommend for your listening pleasure. You won't regret it.
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| A long time before maps were my everyday means of finances, before I spent 5 years getting my 4 year degree (thanks again for that ETSU), before shiny new cars.... I had a 5 minute commute to work. I drove over the hill behind my house, and I bagged groceries and pushed buggies. I spent more than a few days earning my pay by keeping the happy patrons at Kroger happy. It was an ok job, it was close and convenient; and all in all, it taught me a lot of things about working.
This week, my little Kroger, where emptied trash cans at; hosted the Commander in Chief. He came and discussed his health care plan with the employees; I figure, primarily because they are a union company who provide health care for their employees. I watched some of the proceedings on the news, and saw some familiar faces asking questions and voicing concerns. It was kinda neat to know that within walking distance of my house was the man who 'runs' the country.
That's really all I got to say about all that. If you wanna see some pics of my old working grounds (Albeit, freshly repainted and changed quite a bit from when I was there.... plus full of press and the president), you can give them a look see over here:
http://www.slide.com/r/DAkKfy2mwT8wWhipJttR9HWzAq3f3jir?previous_view=lt_embedded_url
Off to get ready for the show tonight. Hopefully this rain will take a breather for the rest of the evening. And yes I am listening to 3EB; despite what the elitists from Absolut think. I don't think they're the greatest band of the 90's, but I do think they have fantastic music.
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